Wiffleballtony's cunning plan to fix politics.

"wiffleballtony" (wiffleballtony) 01/21/2016 at 08:55 • Filed to: None

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Surprise politics after the jump.

In a moment of sheer brilliance that can only occur early in the morning before I have had any caffeine, I have solved the political process.

In my solution I am making a few assumptions. Assumption 1, the system isn’t broken, it’s the candidates. Assumption 2, the candidates are broken because they are egotistical maniacs. Assumption 3, by changing the selection process we can weed these people out.

The implementation is fairly simple, based off of jury duty. Participation is mandatory, but you are paid fairly and your job is preserved. Upon receipt of citizenship you are added to a database. Once you have reached the minimum age for office your name is added to the pool of victims, I mean candidates. Every election cycle you are required to furnish a resume to the government, and the database matches your skill set with appropriate offices. Then the database randomly selects 10 or candidates for us to vote on. There is no reelection and party membership is grounds for punishment. This would apply from your local councilmen to the president.

It’s either brilliance or madness or both.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > wiffleballtony 01/21/2016 at 09:11

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I think William F. Buckley’s suggestion that he’d rather be governed by the first X hundred names in the phone book than who we have or the faculty of Yale was sort of along these lines. On the other hand, it doesn’t have to be just political roles assigned at random or as a duty - see Borges’ Babylon Lottery .

Like all the men of Babylon, I have been proconsul; like all, I have been a slave. I have known omnipotence, ignominy, imprisonment. Look here - my right hand has no index finger. Look here - through this gash in my cape you can see on my stomach a crimson tattoo - it is the second letter, Beth. On nights when the moon is full, this symbol gives me power over men with the mark of Gimel, but it subjects me to those with the Aleph, who on nights when there is no moon owe obedience to those marked with the Gimel. In the half-light of dawn, in a cellar, standing before a black altar, I have slit the throats of sacred bulls. Once, for an entire lunar year, I was declared invisible - I would cry out and no one would heed my call, I would steal bread and not be beheaded...

Noah - Now with more boost. > wiffleballtony 01/21/2016 at 09:22

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I think the US needs a multi party system like Germany. Totally unrealistic, but if congress wasn’t comprised of two warring factions they’d actually get things done.

wiffleballtony > Noah - Now with more boost. 01/21/2016 at 09:28

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It is a multi party system, it’s just the other parties are marginalized due to size.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Noah - Now with more boost. 01/21/2016 at 09:33

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We have that in Canada. It’s just MORE warring parties.

I think the correct approach would be stepping DOWN in parties. No, not single party, that’s just communist. A NO party state is what I’m getting at.

No term limits, no “lame-duck” second termers.

No parties, no party wars and agendas.

More frequent elections both to keep the elected leader on their toes and as a damage control measure in the event of an idiot being elected. (This one I have mixed feelings about. It could just as easily go the other way, where the elected leader does nothing at all so as to avoid ruffling feathers.) Campaigns limited to 3 weeks.

The people are not to directly elect the president/insert leader title here. Instead they will vote for representatives from their region, who will hold an election of their own for the leader.

As a side note, though not directly related to the topic, I think that if the government is going to require something of you, they should provide an affordable option rather than leaving you to the mercy of the private corporations. Looking at you insurance companies with your government-sanctioned captive market...

Noah - Now with more boost. > wiffleballtony 01/21/2016 at 09:49

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Yeah that’s why it would never work, unfortunately.

Noah - Now with more boost. > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 01/21/2016 at 09:50

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As in elections every 2 years for the President? I’d support that.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Noah - Now with more boost. 01/21/2016 at 09:58

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Or even elections for representatives ever 4 years and have them elect a President every 2. Whatever.

Noah - Now with more boost. > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 01/21/2016 at 10:05

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I don’t think the politicians should have any more power than they already do, but we should totally charge US citizens an extra 2% on their taxes if they don’t vote.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Noah - Now with more boost. 01/21/2016 at 10:09

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First, fix your tax system. Then worry about that.

Personally I don’t see any issue. Some people have moral objections, some people don’t have time or an opportunity to get to a polling station, and some people flat out don’t care.

If they don't care, can't make the time for deciding the fate of the next few years, or otherwise, then I don't know that you really want them voting anyway.

wiffleballtony > Noah - Now with more boost. 01/21/2016 at 10:09

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That’s why I think there shouldn’t be parties. We don’t have parties at a local level, why should we anywhere else?

Shane MacGowan's Teeth > wiffleballtony 01/21/2016 at 10:12

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I actually don’t hate the solution, but I think your assumptions are broken

1. Any system that is giving us a choice between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump as Leader of the Free World™ is broken.

2. The demands of the system are why the candidates are so broken. As parties polarize, so do the primaries. And you have to be wacky to get through that.

3. This is probably true.

I like the idea that political office is a duty, a sacrifice for the greater good, rather than a career.

Also, all the props for Blackadder references- and the irony of proposing “a cunning plan”.

fhrblig > wiffleballtony 01/21/2016 at 10:17

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You know what I’d like to see, to maybe help nudge us away from the two-party system? There should have to be two presidential candidates from each party. Reset the election for the first Tuesday in October, then the top two vote-getters (regardless of party) have a run-off one month later on the first Tuesday in November.

JustAnotherG6 > wiffleballtony 01/21/2016 at 11:33

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I’ve said this same thing many times. Though the system itself is fairly broken at the moment as well and we need decent people to fix that.

Conan > fhrblig 01/21/2016 at 12:37

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Playoffs! It is basically football (with rampant homerism included.)

pip bip - choose Corrour > wiffleballtony 01/22/2016 at 07:25

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i have a plan so cunning you could brush your teeth with it.